"You're Crazy"

As some of you who actually read this blog may remember, I was writing a book. I mean, I still am writing a book, things just seem kind of paused for the Summer. I submitted the first twenty five pages or so to the Breadloaf Writer's Conference just for giggles -- I was actually late in submitting it, but they took it anyway. I kind of just wanted somebody else to read it I think, no fee involved, so what the hell. They wrote me a very kind rejection letter stating that my work "scored very highly with the judges" and that I would be put on a priority waiting list if anyone dropped out. I'm actually pretty happy with that! Being wait-listed is that half step up from rejection that makes all the difference. I don't think I'd actually be able to go or anything, but fun anyway!

I think that I kind of have an issue with big goals. I'm always making them. It seems like I can't be contented unless there's something tremendous that I'm trying to do. These are the big goals on the burner right now:

* Novel
* Fitness overhaul
* Creating a two person show with a particular fun lady
* Getting my act together and figuring out whether Chicago/LA is in the future and if so - when and how (I'll be turning 94 soon, and it might be time to get cracking).

The danger with multiple big goals is that you can't do everything at once. The following is a true story.

Kurt Vonnegut and I spent the same semester at Smith College, that lauded all girl institution where there is absolutely no lesbian sexual tension. I don't know if it was the weirdo "I'm a male" vibes that he gave out or what, but no one went to see him during his office hours. Yup, that's right. Kurt Vonnegut had open office hours at Smith and hardly anyone knocked on his office door.

I didn't have anything good to show him, but I felt like everyone back at Emerson would literally never speak to me again if they knew that I didn't' take advantage of the situation. So I mocked up some mediocre fiction and went to visit the man. He was old and smokey and smart, and just as tired of Northampton and Smith as I was. We only chatted about my writing for a little while (he advised me to kill a main character, which would have been smart since the piece was sentimental and pretty gross). But we mainly talked about just...stuff. He asked me why I had left Emerson and I told him how I wanted more academics, then he asked me how I liked Smith and I told him that I wanted more creativity, and this is how the conversation went on. He paused for a moment and finally looked up at me and said, "You're crazy."

Okay. Hm?

"You want to do everything all at one time and it's impossible. You can't. No one can. You've got to make up your mind about what you want to do first and then do it. Then when you're done you can do the next thing."

He also said, "Go back to Emerson. No. Run. Run as fast as your legs can take you."

And before I left, "Be good. Don't talk to strangers."

We only met two or three times, but that was probably one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. He was a really wise, funny man, with a fair share of sadness and troubles. Maybe that's why all the smoking.

So, today, as I remain overwhelmed with my different wants and goals, I try to remember Mr. Vonnegut and that I'm crazy to try to do everything all at once. One at a time. Go easy, take a breath and conquer the world by taking tiny steps.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good:

The thing I'm happiest about right now is that I just finished my first week on Weight Watchers (the online program) and I lost 3.5 lbs. I know that's probably super personal or something, but I feel like this is a very important thing I'm doing for myself and I'm proud, dammit. Lots of veggies, lots of balsamic vinegar, lots of fish and lean chicken, and of course, my new favorite thing -- the nonfat iced latte. Am I boring you? Probably. Okay, moving on...

Also good, Improv Asylum held its 10th anniversary party on Saturday night!
So much fun. The best part about these parties are the things that people create to celebrate the event. We saw genius video sketches by Evan, Doug, and Kiley, adorably funny song parodies by the staff and the NXT, Jeremy's take on Ikea, and a really lovely presentation by Stacey and Chris. It was almost a little tear-jerky sometimes, I have to say. Nights like that really make you feel like you're part of a family, and it also reminds you that Evan is going to be the most successful out of all of us. Seriously. Once he posts his video online, I'll give a link. He's hilarious.

Also good, oh the beach! The walkable beach that's right by my house! We had so much fun yesterday. You can swim in the ocean, it's really clean enough! Big time points for Winthrop.


The Bad:
I'm utterly unfit to own a vehicle. Brian and I almost stressexploded this morning because the car stalled and would not start right as we were about to enter a car wash. Luckily my mom was nearby and saved the day. Still being saved by my mom. I'm 26, by the way. Anyhow, it's in the shop and I finally got to work. God bless the understanding kindness of my company.



The Ugly:
You should see the sunburn on this Irish American idiot. Holy God. SPF, please.

There Will Be Bulimia

So, my first thought was, "Oh, what jerks."

A bunch of prissy future dance teachers making a stab at the big time...right? Maybe. But self delusion and pug nosed entitlement notwithstanding, I'm in this one for the long haul.



Last night we met the 10 contestants who will jazz square and elbow their way to the Broadway stage in the role of Elle Woods. Some of them are adorable. Some are predictably vacant. Some are really really frigging scary.



I'm so excited. And so sorry for all of the hard working New York actors who didn't get cast because of this wacky experiment.

Mother's Day

My mom and I had a day-long date yesterday. I had bought her tickets to see History Boys at the BCA for her birthday, so yesterday we made a whole day of it. She hardly ever takes public transportation and was mildly horrified by the blue line, as most humans are.

It should be noted that my mother is tiny. Like a tiny little tiny person from tinyland. She's a teacher and has the sprightliness of an elementary school girl, and a very big smile. And she's extremely white, fashion wise. One would describe her style as "Cape Cod" or "Explorations in Pastel Plaid". It's kind of adorable, especially when she's thrown into sharp relief by the dingy pessimism of public transport.

The first stop was Downtown Crossing - to Macy's so that she could buy some Clinique makeup that she wanted. As we walked down Washington Street, mom was again mildly horrified.

"This used to be the center of the city," she said as she looked over the rotten, picked-away carcass of Filenes. But soon we made it safely to the makeup counter, and all was well. It seems like Clinique is always having a special bonus promotion. It makes it a little less "special" I guess, but nobody argues with a free tote bag, and mini bottles of that wonderful, yellow moisturizer.

The day was gorgeous, as those of you in New England know. One of those rare, comfortable, sunnynotmuggy days that we get four or no times a year. Mom and I walked through the city, from State Street to the South End. As we strolled into the South End, my mother was immediately charmed by the neat flower box stoops and sidewalk dining. She's been to this area of town before, of course, but not on a perfect day like yesterday. I was taken off guard by how lovely it was as well. Upon reaching the BCA we decided to have a bite to eat and stopped at The Beehive. I would like to describe the grilled cheese sandwich that we split there, but words escape me. I'm not being overly dramatic. It was the best sandwich of my lifetime. The bread, the cheese, the tomato...and granted I was very hungry, but this surpassed all other snacks in deliciousness. Go there. Get the grilled cheese. Try to tell me I'm wrong. I am still adhering to my diet, sticklers, portion control is everything.

The show was fantastic. Really great. I could pick it apart, but I'm in the mood to make sweeping generalizations instead and focus on the good stuff. History Boys is interesting and well written, but it was the boys themselves that made the experience so worthwhile.
From reading the program it seems like many of them are just local guys in college, which was surprising. They were adorable, funny, and many times heart breaking. I want them all to date my sister. Even the gays.

We walked back to the blue line after our long day of shopping, talking, theater going, eating, and generally being insufferably female. It was wonderful. It made me realize that I should spend more time with my mom because, quite frankly, she's about the best person I know. And she's SO little.

Double Fat Latte

My principles are much more lax than those of my little sister, so I took her Starbucks gift card when it was offered to me. I'm sure there are really important, relevant reasons why I shouldn't patronize Starbucks, but sadly at this turn in life a few weeks of free coffee seem much more important than abstract objections.

I know a lot of you probably boycott Starbucks and it begs the question, why? Please, be specific. Is it that they're the amazon.com of coffee? Or is it more serious...like child labor laws serious? I know they take good care of their employees (at least the in-store, bespectacled twenty somethings that use the company for health insurance and their wages for art supplies). Until I get a good solid reason, I'm going to use this gift card until it runs dry. Then go back to Dunkin Donuts.

In a completely unrelated turn, I had my first physical in eight years yesterday. Yup, eight years. Why? Because the last time the doctor called me fat. Which, you know, I kind of was, but it still wasn't very kind.
Basically, I put my health at risk for nearly a decade to avoid an unpleasant conversation about my diet. Great. So, now I've downgraded to a little chubby and I had more confidence walking in. She was actually very nice and gave me some good pointers about what to eat. My heart's healthy and I don't smoke now, so she loved all that.

She made another appointment with me in four months and said that I should try to lose a pound a week. She kept saying, "You are so pretty, I want to see you beautiful." I'm not taking it the wrong way this time, though. I'm only a little overweight now and it's totally do-able. I'm going to the gym, so I just have to stop eating tons of crap food (goodbye Dominos cheesy bread...I'll always love you.)So, if you see me abstaining from pizza or fried oreos, you'll know why. Wish me luck!

This is going to be me in four months...if the gift card doesn't run out.

Being Green

This week has been crazy, and not in funtimes crazy way. I promise to start blogging (and working, and improvising, and existing, generally) better next week.



Three day weekend, fools!

Dasariski was amazing. I need a workshop like that every week. They were easily the nicest guys in the world, too, which is a treat.

I'm going to go out for some pizza after work and win $25,000 in a California Pizza Kitchen promotional contest.

Happy Long Weekend!
Erin

That's Risky

All Mass dwelling improv dorks will want to be in or around Improv Asylum this weekend because we're hosting Craig Cackowski, Bob Dassie, and Rich Talarico (Dasariski) for a Friday 8pm show and workshops on Saturday. I believe the public workshop starts at 1pm and is $125. Sign up!



Although I've never seen the three of these guys perform together, I was lucky enough to catch Bob Dassie and his wife Stephanie Weir (MadTV) perform their two person show Weirdass at the Del Close Festival a few years back and they were phenomenal. Like, some of the best improv I've ever seen, phenomenal. Stephanie Weir is one of those women who just own everything on stage. She's effortless and brilliant. I'd love it if she were coming to town too, but I'd probably get over-nervous and make a fool of myself.

But anyway, Dasariski. Brian has seen these guys and still talks about the show in detail as being the best he's seen. I'm very excited! It often feels like we're in a bit of a vaccum here in Boston, and it will be surpassingly refreshing to see some new, totally fresh, talented folks do their thing.

This Friday, 8pm! Bring your little sisters.